Day 60: I know traditionally the count starts from 1, but can I just jump to 60 without reliving them? And since I am the only one here, I guess I can.

Today was a bad day. I've lived through countless such days in my life. It is one of those days that everything I do seems to go wrong. The difference is, I used to be a die hard optimist, who thought everything will turn around 'someday'. Today I know 'someday' isn't coming. So I am not looking for redemption, all I ask, is that I can live through this day with some dignity and some self possession. Yes, that has been a bit of a challenge too - dignity and self-possession. Its not a matter of perspective, like many times it is. I know the worst thing, the thing I feared the most has happened. In the light of that, none of this matters. But the thing is...the less one has the more precious it is.

Sigh. Nothing matters. I forget that sometimes. But what I think and feel doesn't matter. All I am trying to do is to do what is needed in every situation and get on with one more day. With a little dignity and self-possession. If it pleases the forces that are. That is all.